Oil sands, conspiracy theories, and the Keystone pipeline

In general, I am not a conspiracy theory nut. I do not believe that Bush and/or Cheney orchestrated the felling of the Two Towers.

Yet I have been involved in conspiracies. And so I must wonder about the Keystone Pipeline proposed to take oil sands bitumen from Canada to the USA.

I once spent five days writing a five-page document that, at best, can be described as part of a conspiracy.  Working with a brilliant lawyer, I compiled a submission that attacked the opposition’s holdings in such a way as to promote the best interests of the client.  (With a law degree and a course in jurisprudence under my belt, I see nothing unprofessional in what I did.)

Another time, I worked with a big company to calculate whether it would be cheaper to clean-up the site or fight using expensive lawyers.  We used Monte Carlo theory to determine that it would be cheaper to fight for at least fifteen years with expensive lawyer than to clean-up the site.  Last time I checked, they were still fighting, and the locals were at odds.  Somelocals said the site should be cleaned-up by removing the waste; others were vowing to die in front of trucks moving the waste.  If the locals cannot agree, who am I to intercede?   Best to defer clean-up expenses until there is concurrence.  Even if it takes more than fifteen years to reach concurrence.  A little spreading of dissention by a beautiful young lady with a degree in communications does not hurt either. And a few legal briefs by an ugly old lady lawyer does wonders.

Thus at lunch today the conversation drifted to the Keystone Pipeline.  Why are there so many opposed? That was the question.  And why does Alberta not construct its own upgrading facilities? That was another question.

The easy, lazy answer is that committed environmentalists in the USA oppose dirty oil sands mining.  But that is so simplistic as to be suspect.

The extreme conspiracy theory is that the oil sand companies in Calgary are funding opposition to the pipeline so that ultimatelyAlberta will build its own upgrade facilities and ship the resultant product via the west Coast to China.  That is by far the best and most profitable course for Alberta.  True they have to overcome the opposition of a few BC natives to a pipeline to Prince Rupert and its port.  But that will be less costly to do than to send oil and money south to the USA.

So at lunch is a lousy Thai restaurant on Robson Street, we decided that all those fancy Hollywood stars, environmental activists including Bill Mc Kibben, and the poor unemployed actors gathering around the White House are but stooges of Calgary oil sands interests.

Is this conspiracy theory gone mad?  Maybe.  But what else are you to think when otherwise sane folk arrive in SUVs for the protest or fly in expensive first class planes to oppose cheaper & more ethical oil from Alberta than from that antiquated kingdom of Saudi Arabia?

It defies logic to conclude that the people who threaten to cut off funding to Obama if he approves the pipeline are motivated by pure ideology.  Surely they have been prompted to this utterly irrational action.  At least four of us at lunch concluded they are part of a bigger conspiracy.

I confess that this all seems crazy and unsupportable.  But it took a long time for the food to arrive, so we had lots of time to deliberate and argue.  No wonder we drifted to conspiracy theories as the only logical explanation.

Let us hear from you on this one.  Comment below.  Or send me a private email at [email protected]